Bob And Susan

So…..what a roller coaster Bailey is putting us through. After returning from our trip her limp appeared more significant. She had a great time on the trip seeing Dear family and friends. Funny how she never allowed anyone to say good-bye or even see you later as everytime we would go to pack  the car she would run outside and burst into the back seat. It wasn’t an emotional adjustment for a sad good-bye, she was scared we might leave her behind. She clung to us the whole trip, we clung back.

So the first week we’re back, we finally received the B17. Susan and I had a good discussion about starting her on this as she was vulnerable and we didn’t want to screw with anything, we were walking on egg shells so to speak. But we decided to try it for 3 days, and if we saw anything negative with her ( we watch how much water she drinks, her poop, her appetite, everything, and we report to one another) we would stop. Bailey has taught herself to lean to the left and keep her paw barely touching the ground, so we knew pain was involved and Susan went Monday to see the Vet. Susan took all the vitamins and the B17 to show the vet what we are doing. ( We’ve now had feedback from 2 Vets and they both have thought we are doing good and know all to well the emotion this causes, and hence, the desperation) It’s unconventional I know, and it’s really my concoction and it’s really going to be my fault if there’s something wrong, however, Susan has supported me and knowing Susan, how could she object to vitamins……she puts mine on the counter daily.  We got a painkiller for her.  The painkiller Tramadol was started and for a couple days, she was a bit slow going in the mornings, but when we got home she was happy……loves sleeping on the guest room bed! No people to bother her, and hell, we just dragged her all around B.C. and Alberta, nice to be home on a week day with the house to yourself. 

It’s Friday and after getting the snow plow truck back after burning out the clutch I went to chain it back up. Bailey came out from laying in her snowbank and hung out with me around the truck. She’s never done that before. She generally could care a less about me doing chores, she spends her time laying in the driveway waiting for Mom to come home. After plowing I spent some time shoveling the snow that sloughed off the roof, Bailey went out in the snow and started acting like a young puppy, digging deep into the snow (looking for mice she hears).  She rolled around on her back…yesterday as I approached her she sat down, raised her left leg, the good one, holding herself up on the bad one and gave me a paw.  She then changed and gave me the other paw.  This doesn’t make sense. But we’ll take this and Love our time with Bailey, just as we always have, but it feels so good right now as the roller coaster goes on. I’ve always told “The Girls” about the roller coaster that life is and I always encouraged them to not worry about the high’s and the low’s, enjoy the ride in the middle, it’s where you want to be….. and we’re tryin’.

Heaven:

We just got back from our vacation which started right after Christmas and we decided Bailey was well enough to handle the trip. She was the sweetest as she always is and was loved by all, as she always is.  We went to Kelowna to see Lindsay and Jeff and their beautiful boy Zachary, who smiled for my first time. A lovely visit as always with them and then it was off to Kamloops to see Mike and Susie and Darcy and Haley. While I may have spent a bit too much time in the basement playing with the kids (Wi), we had a great visit. On to Calgary and Rheanna and Matt and the always smiling Ava. She wakes up with smile and goes to bed with a smile and not a minute all day passes without her smiling. What ever flows through Ava’s blood needs to be bottled and sold, it’s a wonder to see….and then to Cathy and Albert’s for New Years in Lethbridge where we as always had such a great time. I’m not religious, a believer in Karma and faith primarily, but, I’ve heard about heavenly stuff and our family and friends were what that would be best described as. I guess that means we’re blessed….

Hell: It was out intention to spend two nights with Ava as Rheanna said one night would never be enough for us with (Ava) and this was so true however as we left Kamloops for Calgary we decided to stop in Golden. It was about to get dark, my back was sore and the road was proving to be  a hard drive with ice and snow. I choose to want to drive in the daylight and if you know what the road from Golden to Banff is like, you can understand why the motels and hotels start to fill up at dusk. Just not worth it. So the next morning we set off for the couple of hours drive to Calgary. A few miles before Calgary I get a warning light on my dashboard indicating the battery has a problem. We’re on the Trans-Canada and there’s nowhere to pull over, and then the car starts acting up as we are loosing power. Up ahead I saw an exit with a sign for Springbank. Springbank is a rural prairie area, not  a town per say, so I went down a road and the car went dead. We coasted for a bit and ended with the car coming to rest in a white, cold wind blowing  place that felt like the middle of nowhere.  My first goal was to establish where we were so if I could find a phone, I could get a tow truck.  (We had a cell, but was probably not a cell reception area for the fisrst cell phone ever made All the while I’m now in a bit of anxiety as I have to worry about taking care of Susan and Bailey. Of course it was Susan that had insisted on bringing our boots, toques and mittens as well as emergency stuff which I as usually scoffed at as not needed. Yes, I am a fool, glad she’s not. So we get some road sign information. I used a lighter to warm the tip of a pen so I could write, and off we headed to an Oasis, with an angel inside.

An Angel: As luck would have it, there was a community complex in sight. I saw cars and thought  it was open so we bundled up (thanks to Susan) and headed there hoping to find a phone and some warmth. There are no stores, let alone a gas station in this community, but they have this great complex, with a curling rink, two hockey rinks, a gym and at the end of the hall an office with administrator Jody. I told her of our problem and she sat me down and said use her phone. She ran out to Susan and asked her if she’d care for some tea……Jody sat on one side of her desk, and I on the other side as I talked with BCAA and she phoned stations trying to get some one who could fix the car soon. This was Thursday, and Friday was New Year’s eve and if we couldn’t get this fixed soon, we’d be stuck until Tuesday.  Jody pleaded with the guys to take the car and finally convinced Fountain Tire in the N.W. of Calgary to look at it at 8:00 the next morning.  Great, something was happening so we were to wait for the tow truck. “I know what I can do: said Jody, “I can get the complex’s truck we’ll all fit and I can put all your stuff in the back and take you to Rheanna’s when the tow truck comes…….get the Angel thing now?  She then took us and opened up the curling rink lounge so we could wait in comfort.  She put on TSN with the Canadian Jrs’ playing. Jody shows up with a kettle and tea bags minutes later. After a couple hours I phone BCAA and because of the weather,  waits we are at 4 hours for a tow, so she suggests after realizing we’re kinda stuck that I should leave the keys  under the mat and get going. So we did, loaded up in the truck and off we went. On the way Jody told me she once broke down in the middle of nowhere and two guys gave her a ride home even though it was out of  there way. She also had her dog with her at that time, and said this was Karma pay back. 

By the way, mice had built a nest in my car, doesn’t surprise me as it’s a Lincoln Continental (’96) and it’s cold. They know a good car when they see it .Turns out they chewed away on some of my wiring and used that for their nest, hence, the alternator shorted out.  ( Don’t ask ……)

I have always been so appreciative of how lucky I am to have friends and family that are angels to me. Imagine my luck in not being selfish and driving past Golden on to Calgary. The car could have died and with no lights or steering,  who knows where it would have ended up?  But the story has a happy ending and that’s all that matters. Another Angel on the list….well that’s Priceless!

Thank you Jody

Love Bob, Susan, and Bailey

Neil Young once said that he gave up being skeptical about religion and found that it was important for people to have something to believe in and he found faith in nature to be a comfort to him. Michael J. fox found it to take him 2 years to come to terms with the fact he was ill. Today I went to the apothecary and was left alone in a “drugstore” with 3 others, all people who worked there. We found thebandages for Bailey and then we talked. I spoke of my sadness and frustration with not having received the B17, and Peter the pharmacist said he knew of it. He had smarts, and when I asked if there was anything that  I might be able to get as a supplement, he offered up Faith. He showed me that I was in denial, not saying so per say. I had put so much faith into an unknown thinking I could cure Bailey that I was a fool.  Albeit a caring fool..

Today as Susan and I walked with Bailey down the drive she said to let Bailey do what ever she wants. I was trying to caution Bailey from roaming in the snow  in out front forest. I found that a bit odd that I behaved that way because Bailey has always done what ever she wants. She’s never known any discipline. She’s been told she’s been a bad dog a couple times when she’s destroyed a part of the house, but, she got over it pretty quick. So now I’m being over protective of her because she’s ill.

So now I come full circle, not religiously, but rather faithful in a natural way. Where do I get it from….Bailey! (Sorry Neil)  She’s always been faithful. She’s faithful to Susan as Susan is to her in a very special loving relationship. Bailey has always been “A Man’s best friend” in a more suttle way to me. She always loves spending a day alone on our farm with me should Susan be in town. She’s rest assured nothing is going to happen, and nothing does while I do chores. Too many cookies and rawhides, Mom never will know, except when she gets weighed by the Vet and Susan tells me she was embarrased when the Vet called her fat. She’s 11 years old and still a bit overweight but not fat. She is such a faithful friend, and now it’s time for me to be more faithful and less denial. What a process life is..I’ll spend time keeping the glass more than half full for Bailey, and be greatful that her and Susan have taught me how to deal with our problem. One smile, and one wag of the tail at a time……..

A little update about how she’s doing. She had a bit of a  bad day, a little slow, this week but that was short lived. She took Susan for a long walk today and greeted me when I got home and ran up the deck stairs (it’s about the cookie I always give her when I get home it’s not about me )  I’m concerned that the B17 hasn’t arrived, it came across the border 8 days ago from California. No sign of it yet and everyone at the post office in Casltegar knows we need it. I’m wondering if  it’s because it’s not approved in Canada that they held it?  When Bailey had surgery, she got a bit of a tear where it appears a stitch broke…..like we needed that? She continues to lay in snow banks, lay on the deck causing friction and lick it. We could get a funnel for her head (she’d wreck that in a heart beat) but that won’t stop the inability of this to heal because of her activity with everything else she does. I’m not worried, I just need to keep up with her and find solutions, we didn’t know if Bailey would be here for Christmas, now I am trying to slow her down. Her limp is a bit more progressed, but I wonder if the sensitivity isn’t partially because of this open cut. I know if I have a cut, I bang it all the time and then it hurts? So,  I talked with a pharmacist, a place like in Europe where they are more apothecary and told them I was thinking of  using Crazy Glue.  Don’t laugh, Crazy Glue was invented medically to adhere skin in cuts.  Peter the pharmacist recommended Coban because he felt the tear was too big so I’ll go to town and get Coban, a wrap that may be more proficient in healing  as I’m concerned that the polysporin and wraps we are using are keeping it clean but not letting her  dry up and seal and heal.  If we lived in an apartment maybe it would work,  but she’s takin’ now to barking at elk again (after all these years) and wanting to lay in snow as she always does…….kids! After all the burns I have received in the past from working for a smelter earlier I wonder about burn bandages we used to heal skin…..Oh what fun it is to ride with Bailey!

I saw Bailey looking at me,, dependant on me and thought those puppy eyes were desperate. Turns out love is the most important cure for cancer. History is going to show  that lots of young people are being cured of cancer. They have a great deal of support, where as old people, lonely for the most part, don’t do so well. The effort is much less for the elderly, research grants are directed to progress in research, the young are a better bet. For the elderly, the intenet is a valuable tool because science is not blind and good researcher’s put their findings out for all to benefit from. In the USA, trillions of dollars are spent on cancer care. The USA spends more money on potato chips than cancer research. Houston, we have a problem! I believe the medical people will prevail over the drug companies some day, after all they swore an oath. In the meantime I am glad that they have provided an opportunity for us to learn from them despite the lure of the drug companies.

Well I have been deciding about different aspects of Christmas this year.  At this time we have a short road trip planned for the first Monday after Christmas.   I have been putting off putting up the Christmas tree this year as it is just Bob and I (again) and do we really need a tree for just the two of us?  When I have been driving through Nelson or Castlegar in the evenings and I see how people have decorated their homes for all to enjoyed, it makes me very happy and thankful for the Christmas eye candy.  So since I am grateful that people do this I really should get up and do a little bit of Christmas decorating myself.  But my other dilemma is since we are going away shortly after Christmas do I want to come home and put Christmas away for another year as well as up pack from our trip (I really hate unpacking but hate looking at it even more). 

One thing I am quite grateful for is that I have enough vacation days saved that I was able to take off this coming week and the following week as well ~ December 18 – January 4 ~ yay!  Also I can spend some quality time with Bailey . . . and of course Bob once December 23rd arrives.

Well I have decided that I will compromise.  I will put up our little plug-in Christmas tree that I decorate with Christmas earrings and Christmas wine glass identifiers, but I am not going to open the big Christmas Tupperware box and pull out the rest of the Christmas decorating stuff.  On Monday I will purchase a lovely Christmas flower bouquet and that should do just fine for Bob and Bailey and myself.  So if you will excuse me, I have to get busy.

What was I thinking?  I have never rolled over, thrown in the towel, turtled, or quit. Susan once said one of the “many” things she loved about me was that I was determined. After my last post’s Bailey was looking not well. I started researching with passion and it was anxious and very confusing as there is so much information to deal with on the web and it’s hard to not only understand it, but, it’s hard to figure out what is right. So I have put together a cocktail of vitamins in the hopes of helping her out to be most comfortable. If you are still with me here, I’m going to tell you what We’re doing. I Don’t know if it’s good or not. I do know it won’t hurt her. If anyone has an opinion ( and I thank you all for calls and emails) please  let me know if you think there is something  we could do better, something you might know about the interaction of the vitamins. It’s complicated…I didn’t know vitamin D for instance, wasn’t an asset in this scenario. Every bit of information helps.  Our basic approach is to make her better when we were told about weeks, months etc. Bailey is running up and down the driveway, barking when her Mom comes home and acting like a puppy….with a limp.  We are going to stop the limp, if she would stop jumping  off  the porch when she goes for a walk and gives us a chance to help her and doesn’t make this worse….

First we want to get a bunch of Calcium into her bones, and fast. We need to get compatible vitamins to stimulate the calcium. She  has bone cancer and arthritis and she’s 11. Bones are what this is about. She gets 340 mg  of Strontium with her breakfast. It’s a citrate, and elemental (on the periodic table) and will boost calcium and calcium’s behaviour.

For supper she gets Vitamin C, and magnesium and calcium with trace amounts of  zinc and potassium. She gets this with  a bit of kibble and a jelly made from beef tendon for her cartilage. We want to strengthen the cartilage to hold back the spread of cancer. I don’t know if we’re giving enough calcium to her right now and may increase it but let’s just see how she reacts in the next while.

We’ve ordered some B17 from California as it’s not available in Canada (yet). A long story about this stuff , but in a nutshell, a South American tribe was found to have never had cancer and it was determined they ate apricot seeds.  B17 is known as Amygdalin or Lactile, call it what you want but it’s mostly apricot seed. It has the ability of seeking out cancer, and attacking it because it creates a cyanide interaction attacking the cancer but doesn’t interact with anything else.  I wonder if while it attacks, the calcium can follow and rebuild?

I haven’t figured out lot’s of stuff but will keep trying. Flax seed and cottage cheese?  Who knows?  What we do know is she’s a happy puppy.  She always has been and she is instrumental in changing our thought process. She got us out of sad.  Not really a surprise.  Family is always inspiring……..  Merry Christmas.

Happy to say Bailey after 24 hours from when she had surgery is buggng us for cookies, barking to come inside, went down and ran up the basement stairs chasing Susan around, has a wagging tail and big smile. I know to be careful as this roller coaster is going to be all over the map, but right now it feels so great!  After reviewing all our options , taking a look at the results/studies done we’ve decided to just watch out for her and be sure she enjoys the ride. No chemo, radiation or amputation at her age is going to have  anything good happen and we are all about good happening and we will know when to apply the brakes.

I wrote the title in case Goggle picks it up to stimulate dialogue on this issue. My computer ignorance may be high, but if I can get any help about how to make Bailey’s palliative care a bit better for her, I will. Bailey has a cancerous tumor on her shoulder.  She’s 11 years old, and a tad overweight. Should we have elected to amputate her leg, do Rad and Chemo, history, albeit not well studied, says that most don’t live past a year. As an older dog, she has a bit of arthritis in her legs, loosing her front leg would have diminished  her quality of life and I suspect her integrity plus probably pissed her off.  We have a moderate pain killer and will monitor her movements. As time goes on,  we will consult with our Veterinarian and increase her to a narcotic for pain relief. I appeal to anyone who might read this to comment to this blog with any advice they may have in order to deal with this. Quite simply, how do we make this time as good as we can.? We bought a chicken and got some rice today, some veggies and she’ll have a good soup,  comfort food. There  just doesn’t seem to be a good answer to cancer.  So hard to believe with all the research. My friend Dennis told his sister Susan that it might be a good idea to ground up some vitamin c and calcium and supplement her food. Why not, I like that idea.  Couldn’t hurt. So what else is out there?  Bailey today when we got home ran to see us……she has always been the boss, and we know when she is talking to us and what she is saying.  She doesn’t want us to be sad, so we won’t, and we will do what Bailey tells us to do……………

I’m not looking for a cure for cancer,  I’m looking for comfort for Bailey. She’s happy right now, and I want to keep her that way.  All tips welcome.

Love Bob

I could have put on my skates and skated down this highway……it’s a highway!!! Runs from Nelson to Castlegar…..

OK, here’s a picture I took 3 hours after I got home after I decided there were too many cars that are crashing and I wasn’t going to see Zachary. This is as bad as a road can get. We have no problem driving here on snowy roads, we get tons of snow every year, but neglecting the highways when there is freezing rain is inexcusable, dangerous , and as a taxpayer who relies on the Government to take care of these simple tasks of putting down salt and sand under these conditions I’m disgusted. Shame on the highways department for being so irresponsible at your work. Today, as I write this on the day after, the roads are now wet, having been finally taken care of. Too little, too late. I wonder how much damage was done from their ineptitude?